Yo, how is it going? Hope y’all are having a great Sunday.

Before we dive into today’s letter, I’ve got a quick announcement to make:

My new course The Magnetic Influence Blueprint is launching on Monday, April 24th. Get ready for the heat coming ;)

Anyways let’s take a dive into today’s issue:

“He’s growing so fast. Why can’t I just get past 1,000 followers?”

“She has such pretty hair. Why can’t I have hair like that?”

“Why can’t I be as popular as they are?”

Comparison hamster wheel.

The sin that rules our society.

The most dangerous thing about it is that this type of comparison is unconscious.

And as a result of this unconsciousness, we often chase things, adapt habits & project onto beliefs that occupy our potential & don’t serve us at all.

That’s how society's conditioning works after all:

We unconsciously adopt other people’s beliefs, habits & behaviors, because they help us fit into a tribe. And from an evolutionary point of view, tribes meant nothing more than safety & survival - the 2 of the most fundamental human needs.

The Human Mind Is Wired For Survival

Although the mind’s obsession with survival is the reason we’re here today…

These days it’s the thing that’s rather killing us more than helping us.

We believe that we want things that we don’t need just because other people believe it too.

We study & work in jobs we don’t want to do, just because society told us to do so, and it says that it’s too “risky” to do things otherwise.

And the worst of all:

We believe that there’s only 1 way to live a good life, and that includes being either pretty, wealthy, or popular.

As a result, we end up afraid that we’re not good enough, constantly questioning our self-worth by comparing little things that at the end of the day don’t matter at all (status, looks, number of friends).

But if you learn to escape that programming and start doing things your own way, you’ll be unstoppable. You’ll be able to achieve whatever you want, and you won’t get seduced by any distractions. And eventually, you’ll build the life that you love, regardless of what other people think of it.

“But how can I escape that programming?”

That’s what we’ll explore in today’s letter.

You’re Not Clear On Your Goals

If you don’t know what you want, the world will tell you.

If you’re not clear on your goals if you’re not clever about what living a good life means to YOU personally, then you’ll always get trapped in the hamster wheel of chasing somebody else’s goals.

This had happened to me more often than I’d like to admit.

Example:

I would have seen everyone around me getting their best friends, slaying all day, going on sleepovers, having their shared playlists, etc.

And whenever I tried to get myself a friend like that, I ended up fucking my mental health and creating attachment issues.

But the thing is…I’ve never written “get myself a best friend” on my to-do list or bucket list. It’s never been my New Year’s resolution. Moreover, I probably wouldn’t even find it fulfilling to have one. But still, I’d waste months trying to fulfill this common societal belief of “get a good friend, otherwise you’re fucked”.

This tells us 1 thing:

If you’re always comparing yourself to others, then you’re not clear on your goals.

And that’s the topic we’ll be jamming about today.

4 Steps To Never Comparing Yourself To Others Again (While Building Your Dream Life)

1. Find Yourself The Right Tribe

At first, you’ll need to shift your focus from trying to fit in a tribe (which is lower on the human hierarchy of needs) to self-actualization (which is at the very top of human needs).

The thing is: Unless you don’t resolve your lower needs (like survival, love, and compassion), you won’t care about anything that’s above that.

Your goal is to then find a tribe of people, but a tribe where you fit in naturally.

Tribe with similar interests, who’s sharing beliefs that are actually gonna serve, a tribe who’s gonna help you reach your potential.

The best way to do this?

Twitter.

If you keep writing about your interests & reaching out to interesting people, you’ll eventually find your tight Inner Circle.

2. Spend Time Alone

Society has already framed what living “good life” means.

But your goal is to find what you believe a good life is.

How do you find out?

Spend time alone.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to lock yourself in a cabin in the woods.

It might also mean something as little as turning off your device for 15 minutes & just letting your mind wander.

This helps you to peel the layers society has put on you with its conditioning.

You can also

• meditate

• journal

• write

• go for a walk

• go to a coffee shop

• do housework

3. Pick A Vision

The time you spend alone should give you enough clarity to answer the following questions:

• What are my values?

• What type of person do I want to become?

• How do I not want to end up?

These questions are pointers that will hint at what your actual vision might look like.

Although you should know that you can ou can never really see it accurately.

Most of the time, it’s not like you pick a vision like in a store.

Instead, life happens, and suddenly, you’re clear on what you want to do for the rest of your life.

But spending time alone increases your self-awareness, which makes those “aha” moments much more likely to appear.

4. Execute

Once you have your vision you know you want to fulfill…it’s time to execute.

Sometimes, it’s gonna be clear what you have to do.

Sometimes it won’t, but you’ll do it anyway.

The point is:

You have to think big but act small.

Think in decades but act in days.

Do everything you need to do, expect nothing in return.

You need to acknowledge the fact that you’ll be in the game for years, even decades.

But the things that will help you eventually get there are the things you do today, tomorrow, and for the next 1,000 days.

The biggest advantage is:

Once you have a goal or vision, and you have clarity on how to get there, you get into the flow state.

Because everything you’ll do or see is going to become firepower for you to achieve that goal.

And that’s literally the definition of flow state.

And look I get it: It all sounds too mystical and woo-woo.

And maybe you’re wondering what happened with this newsletter, you used to go here for writing tips and you’re leaving with this.

Well, for the former:

It sounds woo-woo.

But if you remember from one of the previous issues:

“Spirituality is important because it helps us understand the hidden influences that guide us through life”.

And for the latter…

Remember that writing is just self-improvement in disguise ;)

Have a great week ahead,

— Claudia “Still Doesn’t Have A Bestie” Stellner

P.S.: Don’t forget to catch some sunlight today ;)

Claudia’s Digest

✍️ How Does Elon Musk Learn Better And Faster Than Everyone Else by Michael Simmons

📙 Win or Learn by John Kavanagh

📽️ Joe Dispenza on Pursuing Your Higher Potential

🎙️ Anthony Pompliano on The Danny Miranda Podcast